Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
