is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
