i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
