If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize