Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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