Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
