I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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