im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
