Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
