Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
