I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
