I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
