I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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