i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
