i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
