Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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