i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
