so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
