i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
