Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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