i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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