using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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