he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
