Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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