Kareoke will never be a sober sport
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
