Just mADE A PArabola og urine
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
