I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize