Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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