u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
