So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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