Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
