I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
