Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
