I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
