how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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