I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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