He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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