Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
