We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
