Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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