It's Friday. Sex?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
