haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
