worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We talked him into tasing himself.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
