Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
