About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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