I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
