are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
