Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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