in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
