I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
