accomplished twins. life is a go
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
