He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hippo gnu deer
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
