this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she pinky promised me she was 18
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
