No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
