Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
