Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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