everyone is single if you try hard enough
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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